i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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