I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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