Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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