I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
