I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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