Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Randomize
