HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
