6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
