Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Randomize
