he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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