at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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