She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Randomize
