just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
