I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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