you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
