i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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