Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Redeem this text for a blowjob
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
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