our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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