Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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