I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
we're making bets on your personal life
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
