i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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