Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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