I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
