The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Randomize
