I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
