Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
