the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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