i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Just high enough for therapy.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
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