Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Randomize
