didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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