Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
