I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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