So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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