I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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