i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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