I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
