Just fell off a train. Bad.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Randomize
