did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
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