I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
