i may or may not be watching the land before time
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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