Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
