Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
