im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Randomize
