You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize