i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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