she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
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