Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
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