you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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