my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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