It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
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These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
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If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me