So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
operation have a gay friend backfired
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
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A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
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i've created a new STD.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.