she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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