I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
