Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
