Rock
Scissors
Fuck
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
