I think scott just propositioned me for sex
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Randomize
