Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
they're like a gay fantastic four
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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