Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Randomize
