that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Someone signed my nipple.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
