Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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