When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
My vagina is officially offended.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
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