If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
