Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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